It has been far too long since I have posted here. Life is hungry for time, greedy for it; time is the currency of life, and lately I’ve been spending too much money. But finally I have time to sit by my computer and compose and relax, and it feels good. Thanks for your patience, and apologies for the delay.
I’m not particularly proud of this chapter. In fact, I try to avoid thinking about it, if I can. Not because the writing is bad (at least, it’s not any worse than the rest of it) but because of the events which take place in this chapter. They reflect poorly on my idealized notion of myself as this capable person, who can do whatever they want if only they put their mind to it, indefatigable and invincible. This is of course preposterous, and looking back I realize this, but back then I thought it was the truth. In this chapter I learn my limits; I learn that there are things I cannot always control. Some things are just too large for one person. And sometimes, I can be so naive that it hurts.
This chapter also marks the beginning of my understanding that I was not cut out for the open ocean. There is danger out there, and danger is something I try to avoid if I can, or allow small, measured quantities into my sanctuary life- just enough to keep it interesting. I flirt with danger, but in this chapter danger comes barreling towards me with a force unstoppable. It is only through great luck, and not through any heroic action of my own, that it misses me and my friends entirely.
But sometimes, luck is enough, and the experience leaves you with a better understanding of your fragile humanity, and a greater appreciation for the beauty of life.
Read all about it here.